Realistically I need to tell my manager. I know I'm not legally obliged to tell them until much further down the line but it will make my life a lot easier as I won’t have to make excuses when I have an ante-natal appointment and I figure they would probably appreciate a bit of time to help them with recruiting mat cover etc so should hopefully keep me in their good books. My manager is quite discrete so I'm not worried.
Family is another matter.
Daddy is the eldest in his family and Little One will be "Granny" and "Pop’s" first grandbaby. Granny can't get within 20 meters of an infant without stealing a cuddle. We’ve also caught Pops gazing wistfully at proud grandparents pushing prams in the park. (Ha - that will ruin his hard man image!)
I have a fair few nephews and nieces but it hasn't dulled "Gran" and "Gramps" appetite for baby cuddles. Hints have been dropped.
Our siblings are no more subtle. Let's face it, everyone likes a nice little baby that they can give back when they cry or are sick!
We still haven't had independent confirmation of Little One's existence and even if s/he is in there it is all still very tenuous and s/he is very vulnerable and small (the size of a sesame seed apparently). If something is going to go pear shaped the chances are that it will go wrong in the next few weeks.
Can you imagine telling them they are going to be grandparents/ aunties/ uncles and getting them all excited and then, having to take all that away from them?
I'm not pessimistic or anything, but I'm getting attached to Little One and if something happened to him/ her I would be very upset and Daddy and I would need to turn our attentions to getting ourselves over it without having to deal with anyone else’s emotions.
So I think we're going to keep Little One a secret for a little bit longer.
Clinical comment
Simon Mehigan Consultant Midwife
Many women feel like you do Anna, excited to be pregnant whilst at the same time worrying about if something happens. It can make it difficult deciding who and when to share your news. As you say it can be helpful telling your manager not only so they can start planning ahead but also so they are able to support you in attending your hospital appointments. You are legally entitled to time off work to attend appointments associated with your pregnancy including scans, midwife and doctors appointments but also as you pregnancy progresses antenatal classes.
Miscarriages are more common in the first 3 months of pregnancy with approximately 1 in 6 confirmed pregnancies ending this way. A miscarriage in the first few weeks may start like a period, with spotting or bleeding and mild cramps or backache. The pain and bleeding may get worse and there can be heavy bleeding, blood clots and quite severe cramping pains. If you bleed or begin to have pains at any stage of pregnancy, you should contact your GP or midwife. At Liverpool Women’s Hospital we have an Emergency Room on the 2nd floor. Your midwife or GP may refer you here if you are bleeding and less than 20 weeks pregnant. You can also refer yourself. Some women bleed intermittently throughout their pregnancy and go on to have a healthy baby whilst for others the bleeding can be a sign that the pregnancy is no longer continuing.
It is common for pregnant women to worry about miscarriage, you can reduce your risk by stopping smoking and encouraging those around you to do so too. Using illegal substances has also been linked to miscarriage together with malnutrition and excessive caffeine intake so making sure you are eating healthily can also reduce your risk. More information about miscarriage can be found in the Pregnancy Book.